Ok, so I haven't been sleeping well lately. The past 2 nights I have woken up at least 3 to 4 time through out the night. Maybe I'm stressing myself out. I have started to think about things in my life that aren't where they should be, and focusing on how to fix them.
It's definitly not going to be easy, but needs to be done. I just hope the people in my life understand what I have to do, and are understanding when I say I can't do things.
Finances are my major focus right now, and a lot of cut backs on things that are luxuries, is taking place. It's not that I don't want to do things with people, but I just cannot afford it right now. There is no reason I should have dug my hole as deep as I have. That being said it is fixable, even though it sometimes seems hopeless. I just have to keep my nose to the grindstone and get er done!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The one
The heart is the tool of the soul
It tells you where to go.
Even when you're feeling bad,
and your head is saying no.
The feeling eventually goes away,
the pain begins to fade.
But in your mind you always say,
he's the one......that wouldn't stay.
It tells you where to go.
Even when you're feeling bad,
and your head is saying no.
The feeling eventually goes away,
the pain begins to fade.
But in your mind you always say,
he's the one......that wouldn't stay.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Just another day
Well it's just another day, nothing exciting or spectaular. In fact I have been feeling quite empty lately. Like I have no emotions, not happy, not sad, no anger...just nothing. I want to feel alive again. I miss the sparkle in my eyes.
Unfortunately, I do not know how to fix how I am feeling. Is this just the healing process of a shattered heart? Maybe. If so that is a good thing, that means I am letting go of the hurt and the pain (thank f-ing god) and moving on.
I am ready to feel normal again. I think people have noticed I'm not quite the same as I was. It is not my intention to act different. I want to be my old happy, goofy, sarcastic self. I just feel like all the flavor has been chewed out of my life right now.
I was thinking the other day how there is nothing I have in my life that I am passionate about doing. How sad is that? There are many things I would like to learn, along with thing I used to enjoy doing that I no longer do.
Lately I have been wanting to learn how to paint, but I don't know where to start. I also used to LOVE to shoot pool. But that is something that is better done with a worthy opponent, someone who will challenge me, to shapen my skills and step my game up. Taking pictures has also always seemed interesting to me, but that seems like it could get quite expensive. I have also enjoyed reading lately, but I have no idea what I would like to read next. I think I'm going to walk to the library tomorrow since it's right up the street and see if anything piques my interest.
So many things and I have no idea where to start.
Unfortunately, I do not know how to fix how I am feeling. Is this just the healing process of a shattered heart? Maybe. If so that is a good thing, that means I am letting go of the hurt and the pain (thank f-ing god) and moving on.
I am ready to feel normal again. I think people have noticed I'm not quite the same as I was. It is not my intention to act different. I want to be my old happy, goofy, sarcastic self. I just feel like all the flavor has been chewed out of my life right now.
I was thinking the other day how there is nothing I have in my life that I am passionate about doing. How sad is that? There are many things I would like to learn, along with thing I used to enjoy doing that I no longer do.
Lately I have been wanting to learn how to paint, but I don't know where to start. I also used to LOVE to shoot pool. But that is something that is better done with a worthy opponent, someone who will challenge me, to shapen my skills and step my game up. Taking pictures has also always seemed interesting to me, but that seems like it could get quite expensive. I have also enjoyed reading lately, but I have no idea what I would like to read next. I think I'm going to walk to the library tomorrow since it's right up the street and see if anything piques my interest.
So many things and I have no idea where to start.
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