Letting go

I had a dream about you last night. It seems strange to hear your voice and see your face. You actually smiled at me. It's been a long time since I've seen you, let alone your smile, but there it was. It felt warm, inviting, and playful. I haven’t dreamt of you in a long time. Previous dreams of you felt angry and hateful. In fact, I would wake up from those dreams upset and wishing I hadn’t dreamt at all. Wishing I could remove your face from my memory. This time was different. It was cordial, we smiled we joked, and I no longer felt like I was filled with anger and hurt. Does this mean I am finally letting go of the anger and hurt? I’m not sure. I hope so. It’s been a heavy burden to carry around. There have been some very dark times for me personally, and I know this is not your fault; it’s all how I felt about myself. However, I know I should have left this burden long ago, but I didn’t know how to let it go. Holding onto it was all I had to keep you in my heart, in my memories. Many things have happened in life since I’ve last seen you. Some good, some bad, and one that is so wonderful it has completely changed my life and who I feel I am as a person. You will always hold a special place in my heart and memory. I think of you fondly.