Caught Up

I have to admit it. I momentarily got caught up in the words I was being fed, even when there was no action to support or back up those words. It was hard not to get swept away in the words and the way they made me feel. Especially when I look at a reminder of this person daily, it just made me want what was being said so badly. Sadly the attention felt good, but you can only fool yourself for so long before you need to snap yourself back to reality and look at the facts and truth that are right in front of your eyes. I’m just glad it didn’t take me too long to figure it out. It’s funny how the heart wants something even when the brain knows it’s bad for you. Why does it seem that our hearts and minds sometime speak two different languages? I wanted so badly to listen to my heart, but my brain knew different, and in the end it was right. What makes people so cruel? They think they can play with your heart and emotions just for their own entertainment. Why? What do they gain from causing pain to others? To me it just shows how sad and dissatisfied they are with their own lives. However, they can only do that to you if you allow them to. And I am done allowing it. It’s a new year and my resolution this year is to start loving myself more. To start believing that I really do deserve the things I want for myself and my son. Especially for my son. My focus should not be on love or a man to love. I realized I already have a man to love, Carter. What my focus needs to be on is the man I am raising him to be.